The End Of The Baby Era?

My sweet baby boy (DS #4) has finally gotten interested in going potty again. Over the last 6 months or so he would go before he got in the bath and every once in awhile throughout the day for no rhyme or reason. But 2 days ago he really started asking to go more often and stayed dry all night and most of the day wearing undies and pull ups. I hate potty training! The accidents, the constant reminding that it's time to go potty and most of all the mess around the toilet because my little boy thinks he needs to stand up like big boys! Yuck. Don't get me wrong, I'll be more than thrilled to not be changing (or buying) diapers, I'm just not a fan of the process. I also realized last night that once this "baby" of mine is done with diapers, we are officially out of the baby stage. He's very smart for being only 2, and he definitely thinks and acts like he's at least 4, but somehow the diapers kept him in the role of baby. I wonder if I'll always refer to my kids as "the big boys" and "the little boys" even when none of them are so little anymore... Will I always have the desire to have a baby in the house? Or will I finally move on from the stage of having babies, to raising them. I did have a few years with no baby around, the big boys were 6 & 8 when DS #3 came along, but during those baby-free years I always knew I had have more someday. Now I'm not so sure... which feels weird.

I guess for now I'll just focus on getting my baby through these exciting potty training days?weeks? Oh Lord, please let it be days! And from there will look forward to the next milestones of starting school and all that comes with that.

Run Katie, Run!

I first downloaded the C25K application on my phone about 2 months ago. I had good intentions of starting, but then made excuses day after day, week after week, for not going. I know a significant amount of people that have successfully started running over the last few years and have literally gone from the couch to running a 5k, some who have even ran a full marathon. Those people were my inspiration, along with our upcoming trip to Barbados for which I'd like to be "smokin' hot"! So finally on Monday, with the encouragement of a friend, I started the program. I honestly would've quit about half way through if she hadn't been there with me, as I didn't want to be embarrassed by giving up in front of her! We actually went a little more than the program said to (had to get back to our vehicles somehow). I felt a little sore and tired, but most importantly I felt accomplished! After months of pondering the idea of running, I had finally done it. Sure, I didn't run the whole 2 miles, but I completed day 1 of the training which was more physical activity than I've had in years. And I'm paying for it, still, 2 days later!! Ugh, my legs are so sore that I don't even want to go grocery shopping, which we desperately need, much less go run again tomorrow night. I guess this is hard proof of just how horribly out of shape I am, pathetic. Fortunately, or unfortunately - I haven't decided yet, a few more friends have started the program this week after my announcement that I had done it, so we're all "in it together"... in other words, I can't quit now even though my body is yelling "don't do it!". I sure hope it's true that it will get easier because I don't know how I'll function if my legs feel like this for much longer! But all in all, I'm super proud of myself for getting off the couch and out there into the running world. And I'm also thankful for the friend who offered to run with me (and encouraged me to start "tonight" and not put it off anymore), which I knew I would need to keep me going. Hopefully I'll reach my goal of running a 5k in the near future and also my goal of looking "smokin' hot" when I'm on the beach of the Caribbean next January!

All My Dads

Tomorrow is Father's Day, a day to celebrate and take some time to show our appreciation for the dads in our lives. I consider myself blessed for all the fathers in my life - my dad, stepdad, husband and my heavenly father. So I wanted to do a tribute post to them!

Dad - You may not be the most affectionate guy in the world, but I understand how you show your love for me in all the things you do around here for me. There's a country song that totally sums up our relationship - "he was saying 'I love you', the only way he knew how". Honestly, that song helped me realize that truth, that even though you don't give hugs and say the words, you do love me! I'm glad you moved here 5 years ago to be closer to me and my kids and it's amazing how our relationship has developed since then.

Stepdad - I am so thankful that you came into my life 21 years ago (can you believe it's been that long?!). You are one of the funniest guys I know and it's always a good time when you're around! You've done so much for my kids and I over the years, there's just no way to tell you how much you are appreciated. Thank you for being a good example of a godly man for my boys. I love all our conversations, whether they are light-hearted and funny or deep and theological. You're always make me feel special through your hugs and words of encouragement. I can't imagine my life without a DAD like you!

Husband - You came into my life when I was a single mom with 2 little boys who desperately needed a daddy, which you willingly jumped into being without hesitation. Since then you've given me 2 more boys and done a wonderful job being daddy to them all! I am blessed to have a husband who doesn't just sit on the sidelines of life, but who is always pitching in around the house (much more than most guys I know!) and constantly interacting and entertaining the kids with your "tickle bickles", horsey rides, wrestling matches, goofy voices and all the other crazy things you do :) Thank you for loving me, loving my older boys as your own and loving your role as a dad!

Heavenly Father - Thank you for all the blessings in my life, as I know they come from you. I would not be where I am today if not for your provision over my life and I wouldn't have the guarantee of eternal life in heaven if it weren't for your biggest gift and sacrifice - your own son, Jesus Christ. Thank you for all the dads in my life and for being my daddy when I needed one, for loving me unconditionally no matter what and for saving me from a life that was destined to lead me to... well, nowhere good.

                                             * I love you all, Happy Father's Day *
 

SAHM

So far today I've gotten the little kids up, dressed and fed, took DS #4  to "school" (which is a big task, let me tell you!), cleaned the kitchen, did 3 loads of laundry, scrubbed the kitchen floor, cleaned the bathtub, changed my sheets, fed the kids lunch, swept the steps and entryway, vacuumed, took big kids to the pool, put hilites in my hair (currently processing) and, of course, played with the kids - and it's not even 5. Why did list everything I did today? Well, I think it's the stay-at-home mom syndrome: feeling somewhat inferior to those who have "real jobs" and seeking validation for the work we do at home. When you work outside the home you have responsibilities and expectations for which you receive monetary compensation for when completed. What do we get for all the effort we put in at home? Usually not much. Moms and the work we do is one of the most under-appreciated things I can think of. I often feel the need to point out certain tasks I completed throughout the day to my husband when he gets home from work, I suppose so he knows that I didn't just sit and watch soap operas all day! Sure, there is down time (obviously, or I wouldn't have time to do this!), but we shouldn't feel guilty for taking 5-10 minutes here and there for ourselves. In fact, if I was working I would probably be guaranteed at least 60 minutes throughout the workday to do whatever I please.

I know that raising our kids is the most important job we'll ever have. And I'm not expecting to be praised for every little thing I did throughout the day. I just wish I didn't have those thoughts of being less-than or inadequate for not contributing as much as I'm capable of.

Silly Mommy

Today as I left to take DS #2 to the pool, carrying a baby and ushering DS #4 to the van, I realized I still had my slippers on. I figured no one would know and I'd rather not take the time to go back inside, get shoes on and start the parade to the van all over again. That got me thinking about all things we, as moms, say, think and do that we probably never thought we would. Here are some of the things that came to mind that I will admit to...

Took the kids to school while still in my pajamas and often no bra - just praying I don't get pulled over.

Picked a binky up off the floor and licking it to make sure it's "clean" before giving it to the baby.

Went through half the day before noticing my shirt was on backwards or inside out.

Called one of my boys by 3 other names before I finally say the correct one (even when looking right at him) many times.

Pretended that the tantruming child on the floor of Walmart was not my own.

Stated "because I'm your mom and I said so!" even though I swore I'd never say that to my own kids.

Made up "facts" about geography or science when my kids asked me something I had absolutely no idea about.

Measured the cleanliness of a piece of clothing by smelling it.

Licked my finger so I could wipe crud off my kid's face - another thing I swore I'd never do.

Wrote made-up dates of "baby's firsts" in the baby book years after the fact so my son won't think I didn't care when he reads it someday.

Nursed my newborn in a bathroom stall of a restaurant because I was scared to do it in public.

Sent my husband "out to have fun alone" so I could call & tell him I was pregnant with #4 over the phone instead of in person.

Went out in public with spit-up, dried food and the likes on my clothes (sometimes without knowing and sometimes just thinking "who cares").

I'm sure there are many more things I've said and done as a mom that my younger self would say to me now "I'll never do that!". And I'm sure my fellow moms out there have plenty of stories of their own! I'll leave you with a couple funny quotes I found, enjoy :)

"If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers."
~Edgar Watson Howe

"It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it."
~The Golden Girls

Summer Tips

83 degrees and school is out - summer is officially here! And so begins the arguing, whining and "I'm bored" from the big kids. City pools open tomorrow and I plan on getting passes today so I can send them off every day when the temp is above 70. I hope to make there myself much more often than last year, but will only be able to when I don't have daycare kids.

I thought this would be a good time to share a few summer tips, so here it goes.

1. If you complained about how cold it was all winter, don't let me hear you crying about the heat. It's summer, it's hot, it's the same every year.
2. If you have to buy size large or bigger, you have no business wearing a bikini to the pool. Sure, it makes me feel better about how I look, but we still don't want to see it! You know better.
3. Short shorts are for teenagers, not moms.
4. Don't send your kids to their friends house everyday near lunch time in hopes they'll be fed. I have enough kids to take care of as it is.
5. Go buy sunblock. If you don't care about 1st or 2nd degree burns on yourself that's your prerogative. But even though your little kids look cute with a tan, it's really not worth the risk, is it?

If you have any more tips, please share! Enjoy your summer!

Complain or Encourage

I really don't want to be one of those people who complain all the time, constantly telling everyone how horrible their life is and all the problems they have. It gets old reading facebook post after post about everything that's wrong with them and their life. And it's made me notice the people who are always positive and seem to enjoy life! I'm sure they have problems as well as everyone else, but they have that "glass 1/2 full" outlook.

The Bible even talks about complaining and being discontent, and how we should make sure our words are encouraging to others. I'm not gifted in the area of encouragement, and for whatever reason have a difficult time (for the most part) saying uplifting things to people or even giving compliments. I may think it in my head, but just don't say it out loud. Maybe a psychiatrist could figure out the deep rooted issues I have that make this such a problem... but I won't be seeing one of those any time soon.

Sometimes, though, it's just nice to vent, to let loose all the thoughts that are bottled up inside. I've been dealing with pain from my "female issues" for about a year and a half, landing in the emergency room again Tuesday night. On top of that, my neck and shoulder have been bothering me since Monday (after sleeping in a hotel bed, but who knows if that's the cause) and is getting worse - in fact, I could hardly sleep last night and it's been quite difficult to do the normal things I do with the kids this morning and was nearly impossible to drive since I can barely turn my head to either side. I've been praying for healing, but at this point the pain is still there. So I'll continue to pray and hope that the pain, in both areas of my messed up body, will subside quickly.

Now that I've had my moment to whine, I will do my very best to not keep talking about it. I don't want my complaints to bring anyone else down. And I surely don't want to become one of those annoying people who do nothing but look at the negatives in life and make sure everyone around them knows about it. I have wonderful kids, a nice home, a husband who loves me, a supportive church family and a savior who loves me more than I could ever know. I will focus, as best that I can, on all the blessings in my life and continue to work on being uplifting and encouraging to others!

Succesful Trip

We've been back from our little family getaway to the waterpark hotel for about 2 hours now and both my husband and I have been busy with chores since we walked in. No break for parents! Well, of course there are some breaks or I wouldn't be writing right now :)

The trip was a success, defined by: no near-drownings, no fighting, no injuries or sickness and fun had by all! The only negative part was the 2 hours it took us to get our youngest boys to fall asleep. I can't believe how much energy 2 little people can have even after a day with no nap and plenty of swimming!

And to top off a great weekend, when I got home I realized my dad, who had stayed at my house to dog sit, cleaned my oven to a sparkling shine! There's something I can cross of my to-do list.

Hubs is out cleaning the van and doing some yard work, and now that I've scratched the itch of internet addiction I can get back to my duties. Home sweet home!

Once in awhile, whining pays off

I didn't fully realize it was Memorial Day this Monday until a few days ago. I guess people who have "real jobs" always know what holiday is coming up because they're looking forward to an extra day off. I imagine people have also been making plans for this weekend for some time now, and I know many who went camping (not my cup of tea whatsoever!).

 My family, however, had nothing planned as usual. Me forgetting it was even a holiday is not the only reason for this, we just don't really celebrate Memorial Day, 4th of July or Labor Day. But for some reason I started feeling bad that we had absolutely nothing to do and posted my thoughts about it on Facebook. Grandpa and Grandma to the rescue! My mom called shortly thereafter and said my wonderful stepdad decided we should all go to a hotel/waterpark Sunday and Monday! My 4 year old has been obsessed with "big buckets" ever since our trip to Wisconsin Dells last summer, and repeatedly asks to watch Youtube videos of the 350 gallon buckets dumping water on the swimmers below. I can't wait to see his face when he finally gets to see one in person again tomorrow!

I still feel bad that we don't always celebrate these summer holidays with family like most other people, and even worse that I don't know the origins or difference between Memorial and Labor Day. Maybe I'll do my homework and figure that out now that I'm an adult. And maybe as the little boys are getting older (and a tad bit easier to manage in public) we can even take the whole family to the big 4th of July celebration and fireworks this year. But for now, I'm happy that my moment of complaining on Facebook yesterday paid off and we now have something FUN to do this Holiday weekend.

~ And a big shout out to my awesome parents who are making it happen, like always. Thank you!!!

Too Tight

I put on a pair of capris on the other day from last summer, and my goodness they were tight. Yesterday I noticed how tight my jeans were getting - I still wore them, but the hips and legs were tight. My shirts are tight, and I'm not prepared mentally to see if last year's swim suit is too tight. Conclusion: after losing weight amazingly fast after my last baby in '08 I am definitely on my way back up in size. It's very disappointing, but since I didn't put any effort into losing it in the first place (besides feeding my baby) I suppose I can't be too upset. Fact is, the only real effort I've ever put into losing weight were the few times I nearly starved myself and the few months I worked out at the Y, which I still didn't do on a regular basis. I did download the C25K app on my phone a few weeks ago, but have yet to even look at it. Last week I walked for about 20 minutes 2 days in a row and was extremely proud of myself, but then the next day I had a shin splint in 1 leg and that was excuse enough to not walk again. I've been saying for awhile that I wish I was a runner, enjoying as much as the friends I have who run, but I just don't think I'm cut out for it. Am I destined to be flabby for the rest of my life? To be so out of shape that I'd rather drive around a parking lot for 10 minutes then have to exurt the energy to walk an extra 20 feet? Will I ever be able to break the habit of waking up in the middle of the night to eat? (I do love my Reese's Peanut Butter cups at 3am!) Maybe I'll just buy some bigger clothes again, and start saving for liposuction.

Hug Your Babies

Watching the Casey Anthony trial (the young, single mom accused of killing her 2 year old daughter in '08) my heart is saddened. I don't know for sure if she is the one who caused her daughter's death (and I'm certainly glad I don't have to be a juror in the trial), only Casey and God know the whole truth. I do know that the overwhelming consenses is that she did, in fact, murder her little girl and cover it up while continuing to live a normal [party] lifestyle for 31 days after Caylee's death. Right here in Iowa a mother killed her youngest son and attempted to kill her older son, who survived and actually helped convict his own mother. What causes a seemingly "normal" person, a mother, to harm and even murder her own child? What goes on in her mind that makes her decide to take the life of the child she carried for 9 months and gave birth to? I know there are certain guidelines for a person to be found "criminally insane" in a court room, but I surmise that all the mothers (and there have been many) who have commited these heinous acts against their own flesh and blood are not of sound mind, and must be dealing with incredible demons in their minds.  Sure, I get frustrated with my kids and even angry from time to time - but I have never had even a fleeting thought of seriously hurting any of them much less killing them. I think most moms, who are being honest, would say there are times you wonder what you were thinking when you decided to have kids - that you had no idea parenthood would be so challenging! And we have passing moments when you imagine what you'd be doing right now in your life if you didn't have kids. (When I have these thoughts my usual conclusion is that life would be quite boring and I have no idea what I'd do with myself all day!) But in a "normal", sane person none of theses thoughts or somewhat depressing times would ever lead you to the point of murdering your child. I understand parenting is hard, but there are many rewards too. I pray that these woman who have found no other way to cope but to rid themselves of their children would find the peace and forgiveness of The Lord. And for the rest of, let's just remember to not take our precious children, or the lives we've been given, for granted. So hug and kiss your babies and thank God that you are not struggling with the obvious heavy burden and darkness that Casey Anthony and so many other women have lived with.

Super Mom?

I wish I was a super organized, "Type A" kind of mom. Does my desire to be this way count for something? I hope so. I finally started using a calendar last year, in hopes of keeping track of everything so I wouldn't forget about appointments, ball games, piano practices and the never ending early school dismissals and days off. But somehow I still manage to lose track of what's going on - I do look at the calendar, I really do. It must just not register in my mom brain. I finally bought a bunch of storage bins and went through all the kids clothes, separating and labeling them by size, hoping to make it easier to get ready for the new seasons and to sell the outgrown clothing online. But then the bins were placed in various places throughout the house and garage and I'm overwhelmed at the idea of dragging them all out and doing all the work that goes into listing clothing on ebay. I bought a dry erase board to write the various chores that my older boys are required to do each day so they can easily see what they're suppose to do when they get home from school. But I only seem to remember to write on that board about once a week, even though I walk past it over and over throughout the day. My closets need organized, stuff needs gathered to go to Goodwill, the junk drawers need a good cleaning, the socks with no match that reside in my hutch drawer need to either find a mate or find the trash, my pictures need to be uploaded, printed and put into albums, and let's not even talk about the junk being stored under my bed that needs a real home. I need a system for keeping track of all the papers my kids bring home from school, some that needs returned with my signature which I usually find a week later. I need a system for saving important documents like birth certificates, vehicle titles and loan papers. I need a system for couponing and planning menus and grocery lists. And there's probably many more "systems" and organizational ideas that I don't even think of. However, I just wasn't born with this type of DNA and have little hope of ever really becoming Mrs Organization. My kids are clean, fed, healthy and happy. So I guess that's good enough for me at this point. I probably won't be nominated for mother of the year, but I am who I am - an unorganized, forgetful, sometimes messy, loving mom!

Small Town Fever

When I was younger and we would visit family members in various small towns in North Dakota, I would always say that I could never live in a small town - no mall, no Walmart, no street lights! I just couldn't imagine not being in a bigger city with more "oportunities". Now as I'm getting older and raising my own 4 children I think I'm starting to get small town fever. I'm imagining walking to the nearby park with the kids, knowing all my neighbors and not having to worry about letting my little ones play outside and even wander the neighborhood. Not to mention how difficult it would be for my older kids to get away with anything when the whole town knows everyone and word travels fast. I don't think I could live too far away from a large city where I could easily drive to get groceries or make a quick trip to Target when  we're on the last roll of toilet paper, or the sudden realization that my baby is wearing the last diaper. Small town living might never be in my future... who knows. But I have to admit I've surprised myself at how much I've changed from that teenager who thought small towns were for old people and country bumpkins!

Not Much More Future To Worry About

Due to President Obama's recent statements regarding Israel, I'm more certain than ever that we are living in the end times. It doesn't take a genious to figure out things are getting worse - the weather with all the hurricanes, tornados and earthquakes, the wars which seem to have no end in sight, etc... So my philisophical theory is that maybe I can just go ahead and plan on not being around for long. I'll keep deferring my student loans, won't worry about a 401k and maybe best of all I won't have to turn into a slouchy, smelly, wrinkly old lady! I'm only a few months away from the big 3-0 and I almost can't believe it. On one hand I feel like I've lived through so much and the other hand I still don't always feel like an adult. I'm sure there's a psychological definition for my life - becoming a mom at 17 didn't give me much time to grow into adulthood like most people. I missed out on a lot because of those choices made as a teenager, but then again all I ever wanted to be was a mom. So when this earthly life ends (which I do fully believe will be through rapture and not death) I won't be feeling bad about missing prom and graduation. Anyway, I'm gonna plan on not being around after about, oh, 10 years. So let's see what I can accomplish in that amount of time! Maybe a few more kids... hahaha ;)

I'm Still Here

Either the "7000+"  guy is wrong, or I've done missed the rapture. But since my young children who have not reached the age of accountability are still running around outside, I'm sure that my Jesus is still at the right hand of the Father. This whole spectacle has, however, served a purpose for this household... I was able to again talk about the importance of always being ready for the return of Christ with my family. Truthfully, He could come back tonight or maybe tomorrow or maybe not for 10 or more years. But we need to be ready whenever the time comes! So how do you get ready? Well, first you need to accept Jesus into your heart "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9) Friends, this is the only way to heaven, whether you get there by means of the rapture or through earthly death. Do your best to live for the Lord, in everything you say, do and think. No one is perfect and not one person who ever has or ever will live can do enough "good stuff" to earn their way to heaven. So, even though Jesus didn't come back today, May 21st 2011 at 6pm, he WILL return one day to rapture HIS people. And my hope and prayer is that all my friends and family will join me in heaven!

Facebook Petpeeves

Confession: I'm addicted to Facebook. I've actually gotten a lot better than I use to be about checking FB, but I still couldn't imagine a day without logging in. There are many things about fb that often make me wonder why I continue doing it to myself ("it" being reading through status after status, day after day) and I've usually kept my lips zipped about these annoyances. But now I have my own blog and feel I can say whatever I want! HA! *Disclosure - if any of the following pertain to you, please don't take offense* So here it goes.... I can't stand when 90% of my home page is filled with statuses from the same person! Really folks, I don't pretend to have any more of a thrilling life than you do, but don't post every 3 minutes and show the whole world just how boring your life is! Because obviously if you can post that often, you have nothing better to do, ever. HERE'S ANOTHER ONE THAT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM (are you ready to scream yet?) - using all caps doesn't make me want to pay more attention to your post, it makes me want to "hide" you. For goodness sake, use caps only for the 1st letter in your sentence and for proper nouns just like your second grade teacher told you to. Speaking of 2nd grade English class, let's talk punctuation. I think many of you have broken comma keys... do you realize how difficult it is to comprehend what you're trying to say when you never use a comma or a period?? And calm down with the exclamation points too; trust me, not everything you're saying deserves this punctuation mark. Just save it for when you truly are excited about something, not for every.single.comment. I won't even get into their, they're and there as I think this is just a lost cause. If you are an adult and still don't understand the difference there's probably not much hope in teaching you. Also, if you are an adult I expect to read real words (you know, the ones you can find in a dictionary). I mean, is it really that much harder to spell out the word "and" instead of "nd"? And if you write "bk" I will think you are referring to Burger King, not telling me you'll be "back". I could probably go on and on, but I'll stop now before I am "unfriended" by too many people on Facebook. Feel free to share some of your own petpeeves, whether they stem from facebook or just life in general. HV A GR8 NT!!!!! lol    -kle

Jumping In

People have been blogging for years, but I haven't ever really gotten into following any. And I don't expect to have a zillion loyal followers here either. I just decided that this might be a good way for me to share my thoughts and opinions about, well, anything. Do you ever think back on a conversation you had with someone, even within minutes afterward, and think "oh I wish I would've said this or that!"? Well I do that often so I figured with blogging I'll be able to think through what I'm trying to say before I say it (or at least be able to edit it if I do think of something after the fact). So here I am, jumping in to the world of blogs. I may not be able to post all the time as I am busy with real life. And I may not have spectacular ideas to share with the world, but I will speak from my heart and hopefully we can laugh, vent, and maybe even grow together. Thanks for stopping by!   -kle